The Missing Gavel Mystery

The crime: The month was a warm Indian Summer evening in September, it was our monthly dinner meeting. Lion President Dean Church sat his gavel down on the table (an innocent gesture, made in the face of hunger). And that was the last time the gavel was seen. The suspects were many, among them was the District Governor Judy, PR Chair Pat, Former President & current Zone Chair Dave, and most of the Ponderosa Lions Club members and their wives.

It was announced midway through the meeting that it was missing, but "No One" saw what happened, "No One" saw the perpetrator, and  "No One" stepped forward to claim responsibility. Who is this mystery person "No One"? I don't remember seeing them on the membership list....

A short time later, our local newspaper received a ransom demand. The Lion President had to make a $20 donation to the local Salvation Army office, or else!!!

In the meantime, our innocent, young web mistress found a temporary replacement to soothe the savage beast (aka Pres. Dean). But where was the real McCoy? (Not the one from West Virginia, the real gavel, duh). The ransom was hand delivered to the local Salvation Army Administrator, Jennifer Sailor. She was thrilled with the donation, but perplexed by the whole situation. Why her, why him, why the gavel, why oh why oh why??????

The wait began, the ransom had been paid, Jennifer had called the local newspaper and told them it had been paid, but still no gavel. A few weeks went by, then a month, then 6 weeks, then 2 months, where was the gavel? Had it gone on a cruise? Was it lost in the Amazon? Been eaten by a bear?

The gavel hasn't had any medication in 10 weeks, Pres. Dean's hand feels sooooo empty, he has taken to carrying strange items in his hand to fill the gap left by the abduction of his innocent gavel.

Questions, there are so many questions....

Was it just 1 person? Is there a mastermind behind the scenes pulling all of the marionette strings? Where has the gavel gone now? Will it ever again fill Pres. Dean's empty hand? The horror, the horror....

Stay tuned for more on the gavel mystery as it unfolds...

C Ponderosa Lions Club November 2007